It's been a while...

We've been MIA from the blogging world for a little while.  There's been ups and there's been downs, but the ups make the downs worth it.  It's difficult for me to decide what to disclose.  On one hand I think it may be therapeutic to just let it all out.  Type it.  Read it back to myself.   Accept it.  But I don't think I'm there yet.  I wish I was, but I'm working on it. I'm my own 'work in progress'.  Seeing this is therapeutic though ...

 This kid LOVES tomatoes. I tell her to smile and she does this.


Some days are harder than others.  But everyday there are two reasons I get out of bed.  My babies and my new obsession with licorice peppermint tea.  Yes, sounds revolting... don't knock it til you try it. Most amazing herbal tea, hands down.

My offspring picks me weeds.  She thinks they're flowers.  The way she says the word 'fwah-woh' just makes me melt and the day that she says it correctly will be a very sad day.

 mama needs to plant some real flowers for this poor girl!

We've decided, that every Saturday we will try and buy our fresh produce at the markets.  So, we take Ella in the hopes that it will be warm and sunny and fun... well would you know, it was the coldest, windiest morning of the entire winter season.  Its as though mother nature blew us a big freaking icy cold kiss goodbye before the first day of spring.  It was SO cold.  So we managed to dig through the back seat of the car, through toys and towels, beach buckets and sippy cups to find a blanket.

 

 Poor little muffin stayed like this almost the entire time.

These delicious treats made up for the teeth chattering mother nature climate stuff up:

So in all honesty, Ella stayed in her pram the entire time.  Just before we left we staged this photo so it looked as though she was actually enjoying the day.  It went a little like this 'babe, go stand over there so it looks like Ella is picking her own pear'.  When really, she was cold, hungry and wanted to get the hell out of there...

We all do it...


I'll tell you what she did enjoy though, the EKKA.  It's a massive exhibition/fair that is held in brisbane every August.  We didn't go last year because Ella was too little to appreciate it.  It was crazy busy but she loved it.  We did some cow petting...

 (two seconds after this photo, a goat came barging through behind Ella and knocked her forward onto the sleeping cow.  It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.  I laughed so hard at my child...  It was even more hilarious because it was my own child.  How horrible am i!?)

 Some famous strawberry icecream eating...

 Creepy laughing clown games... and winning crappy little toys.

Buying ridiculously expensive winnie the pooh balloons because thats what you do.

And bought some showbags from the showbag pavillion.  Dora, you entertained us for days.

 

I've been playing around with my camera when I've had the time.  Something that I really love to immerse myself in.  I don't think I would ever want to pursue a career in photography, because then it would become stressful.  I just love to do it for my own family and plaster our home with my (probably not so good) photography.   

 

 Hello golden light, and hello pot-belly

 i'm borrowing a Lens from Chris' boss... and it is Ah. May. Zing.

I'm trying to cut back the time that I spend on these sites that seem to suck the hours out of my day.  Facebook, blogs and the like.  I love checking on peoples status updates.  I love knowing that my best friend's baby has just cut through his first tooth, or a long lost primary school friend has just gotten married... but there needs to be a line, for me anyway.  I already worry that I'm going to look back and think 'Did I spend as much time as I could with my baby? or was I too busy looking at other peoples lives to see my own?'  I don't want it to be that way.  So if i don't post for a little while, its because my heart and mind is where it should be, with my family.

So I think that's just about it! So if you got through my ramblings, thank you for reading!

It's winter, baby!

Leg warmers, Papuchi (slippers) and indoor activities.  It's winter baby! I know most cringe at the thought of crisp mornings and icy cold nights, but I love winter.  Always have.  Cosy socks, hot chocolate and cuddles on the couch, reading, drawing... Winter is the most intimate season, I think that's why I love it so much.  It encourages us to get closer to the ones we love.  Winter just begs for hot soups and crusty breads and baking delicious cakes, and we all do it together.

(leg warmers and papuchi on my bebe)

I passed on one of my all time favourites to my baby today.  Lamingtons and hot milk. 

 (shirt says: I'm the cutest alarm clock - umm maybe not at 6am when its 5 degree's outside, my love)

(LOVES it!)

I find it fascinating how some things which are considered an acquired taste, can be so easily loved by first bite by a toddler!  Vegemite, olives, chili/spicy foods to name a few. 

But winter does not come without it's disadvantages of course.  The winter snot monster has already reared its ugly head (by that I mean a snotty kid at the play center we went to) and my baby caught it! blah! So we add tissues and chamomile tea to our list of winter.  

I find motivation to get creative and organised too.  My next project:

(its currently finished and hanging in her room.  I'll take a pic when the snotty bebe wakes from her slumber.)

ohhh speaking of the little booger, she wakes :) Going to greet her crusty snotty face right now.

Cuddle your bebe's, you know thats what i'll be doing!

playdates and pumpkin baby (014 - 028)

There's nothing like getting together with friends and not being afraid to talk everything 'baby'.  Whoever invented play dates was genius. Not that I don't enjoy spending time with my 'babyless' friends, but its such a relief to just talk teething, poop and target specials without trying to consciously think of other things to talk about! 

           (You want me to do what, mum?)

                   (OH a kiss, yeah i'm totally down with that.  I'm a pro, really)

Looking at those pictures makes me sad.  Because my child looks like a giant :( and to me, she's still my baby girl.  Everyday as mothers, we battle through these conflicting emotions.  We feel so extremely proud and welcome the first steps, new words, new skills... whilst desperately holding on to those older memories, sounds, smells of a newborn.

 

(Is he not one of the most cutest baby boys ever!? Little Mr. C.)

She's growing.

Into a little girl.

 

And it wont slow down and I can't rewind.

 

                                                                             (Squishy face!)

So I try to cherish every little moment while it lasts.   Every giggle, every baby talk babble, every tantrum, every snuggle. 

 

I leave you with my homemade pumpkin soup little girl.

Home Bodies (009 - 013)

While I'd love to say I have time to post every single day, the truth is, well... I probably do.  But I'd rather be spending my time doing this:

(Note: pudgy pillow foot!)

So we sat outside in the sunshine on this chilly Autumn day, drawing with side walk chalk.  Ok, so I was drawing... 

And she was covering me with bark and dirt:

 Which by the way, is so much more fun than sidewalk chalk.  I love how she teaches me things.  I find myself questioning my decisions everyday.  'No Ella, we do not run around the house with the toilet roll, leaving squares in every room'.

But why not? Because honestly, the 2 minutes it took to clean that up was so worth the fun and smiles and giggles which make up the best memories. So she teaches me to let go, laugh and play.  Because one day when she's grown up sitting at the dinner table, I want to remember the memories we made, not the ones I prevented.


Speaking of memories, my all time favourite:

Morning bed hair, milky morning breath and sleep wrinkles.  My favourite time of the day.  She's oh so snuggly, still half asleep but so refreshed and excited for the day ahead.  Remember that feeling we used to get in the mornings when we were kids?  We'd wake up and just the thought of a brand new day was so exciting.  Sleep was boring, we wanted to stay awake as long as possible, and then wake up as soon as the sun came out to play.


Now, all we want to do is sleep.

So on with the new day.  Mama-baby pedi day :)  She so badly wants to paint my toes and yells at me to give her the brush.  But mama knows best, one day when her dexterity isn't as erratic as a jack hammer, i'll let her paint me some dinosaur toes. 

She had two naps today! which gave me time to finish this:

I love when I get time to be creative.  If I could choose to be a stay at home mum, with the laundry and the dishes and the vacuum attached to my hip I would.  I couldn't think of anything more comforting than running my own home for my own family.  Wearing that apron and baking with little feet running around me.


I love making my house feel like a home, and I love spending lots of time at home. Home is where my fondest memories of my mother are, and I want my child(ren) to feel the same. 

Grateful 008

I don't have a picture for today, actually I don't think I will ever have a picture of today's 'grateful'.   Because today I am grateful for my job and there will never be a picture to capture everything my job entails.  Completely unpredictable, no two days are ever the same.  I go to sleep at night not knowing who the next day will bring, what the next day will bring or how I will face it.  I feel there is a sense of security in that, being completely oblivious to the day ahead.  Besides, who would want to know that their day ahead involves holding a grieving relative while they cry, cleaning the vomit from the walls/desk/floor/ other various objects or  being belittled by a 'know it all' surgeon all because you asked something for the benefit of THEIR patient. 

Us nurses, we complaint, A LOT.  All the time in fact. We're very good at complaining.  Seldom do we ever voice how wonderful our job really is.  Mostly because we're far too busy, knee deep in *insert pun intention here*.   So today i'm going to say it, I LOVE being a nurse.  Love it. Sure I complain too.  Like the fact that the other day, I got to eat my breakfast at lunch time, or that some days I don't even see the walls of the staff toilet.  Yes, we are THAT crazy busy.  But in amongst the aggressive relatives, the shift inflicted urinary tract infections and numerous bodily fluid handling, I love that I am solely responsible for the care of my patients.  I love that they can trust me to nurture them and provide them with the empathy they deserve.  I treat every one of my patients as if they were my own mother.  (God help the nurse who one day will be giving care to my my mother, because I would be the aggressive relative from HELL).

Today my patient asked me how I could possibly function at home after the whirlwind of a day that he witnessed in this particular four-bedded bay.  But I do.  Somehow, after empathizing, caring, nurturing all day, I come home to my little girl running up to me and it all begins again.  A new burst of caring loving energy, this time for my family.  A dear old patient of mine, whom I will never forget once told me 'You were born to be a Nurse' while proceeding to give me the most amazing marshmallow recipe.  and although I don't really believe in that sort of thing, I soak it up and put it away in my memory.  A few special little words that help me through the worst, even to this day.

(side note: On one of our first dates, I brought Chris these home made marshmallows and he loved them! )

And when my little girl stands in front of her class and tells everyone that her mummy is a nurse, I will be proud. 

Grateful 007

The sun on her flawless face.  Just perfect.  I love how she can look exactly like Chris and I at the same time.  I am so grateful to watch her grow into the little girl she is becoming.  Her little personality is just blossoming and I have never been so proud.   Makes me want to sneak into her room and scoop her into my arms, smothering her with kisses without waking her.  Oh, I love her so.

Grateful 006

 

Coffee and crappy catalogs, my 'me' time for the day.  No annoying fisher & price songs, no Hi 5 blaring through the TV, no toddler tugging on my leg.  Silent, ohh so silent.

Grateful 002

Night time snuggles while she falls asleep :) Then out of the blue, she'll lift her head up to give me a kiss and fall asleep again.  There's nothing better.

Grateful 005

Grateful I caught this before I had sudocrem covering my walls...

Grateful 004

And another one because the blog wasn't working yesterday.  :) My pride and joy, my slight addiction, my cloth nappies.  All lined up on the washing line nice and clean!  Something very therapeutic about washing nappies, and folding them again! I can wash and fold nappies happily every day.  Now our clothes on the other hand... not so exciting.  The day that my children don't need nappies anymore is going to be a very sad day!

Grateful 003

I LOVE frogs.  Love them. This little fella decided to greet me when I got home late from work :)  I shall name him bob.  Thank god Ella was asleep.  I think bob may have looked mighty tasty to a little certain someone...

Grateful 001

 

Mothers Day.  I am so grateful for my daughter.  She reminds me to see the beauty within the small things of life :)